A while back I had a friend to ask me for some simple tips on dating and how you can tell when to run for the hills. I wrote this for her and in hindsight realized I wrote it for me as well. I hope you enjoy it.
Meet and Greet
God meets you where you are. He accepts you. He doesn’t try
to change who you are but takes who you are and shows you how to take that and
be productive. He know just how to talk to you and loves you just as you are. The man you start to date should always accept you as you are.
He should never come in with the attitude of shaping you into what he wants you
to be. Now don’t get this confused with him wanting you to be all you can be.
That is a totally different thing, God wants you to be at your best and any man
you date should want the same. When I say he accepts you I mean your
personality, your ways, everything that makes you an individual and he
recognizes your strong points.If you are a thick girl…he shouldn’t
come in saying…I like skinny women…or if you are a natural woman he shouldnt come in with a box of perm for you to put on your head!
Talk
Do you realize God talks to us everyday? He is that
“something told me to…..” He talks to us through our dreams, through nature,
through song….and most important through his word. He doesn’t try to hide or
play games he talks to us and let’s us know he is real. The man you are dating
should be able to talk to you. God knows our language and what we mean without
translation. He should be able to hold
conversation with you, it doesn’t have to be deep…but it does need to happen.
Communication is so crucial in all relationships. If you cant talk to each
other then what will you do with each other when you have issues or problems.
Your man should want to know your language. That is part of knowing you. Also
learn his. (note to you…if you can’t
communicate with God openly…then you may have an issue truly being able to
communicate in your relationships)
Pursuit
Now here comes the juicy part and the fun. Do you know that
God wants a relationship with you, a real intimate relationship with YOU!!!?
Now don’t mistake pursuit with chase, no God will not chase you down and trip
you and jump on your back to get you to accept him. God does, however, show all
he has to offer to you if you just trust and lean on him. He shows you how much
better your life will be if you just commit to him. Your mate should do
something similar. What does he bring to the table? How can he enhance your
life? (note: Do not expect your MATE to be able to make you happy, you have to
have happiness from within, but he can enhance your happiness…if you count on
him to keep you happy, OH what a roller coaster ride you are in for, because he
can’t keep you happy all the time. That is why you have God first…ok?)
Commit
God is fully committed to his relationship with you. (it’s
us that are iffy) He promises to love us, guide us, listen to us, comfort and
always be honest with us. (just a peak of all God
is committed to do in our lives)
I think we have the point here, but your mate
should be committed to you and making your relationship work. He should want to be
there to love, guide (yes), listen, comfort, and so on and so on. The truth
should always be the center of your relationship. God is truth. God is love.
Ok, are you getting this? You want the man you are with to reflect God as close
as possible. He can’t be perfect like God but he can possess certain qualities
that mirror your relationship with your heavenly Father.
Lord I want to know
you and understand you see: Exodus 33:13
Draw Near to God:
James 4:8
Do not Awaken Love
Prematurely: Song of Solomon 8:4
God is Love: I Kings
8:23, 2 Chronicles 6:14, Zephaniah 3:17
TID BITS
As you read this ask yourself as well what you can bring to
the table? Are you accepting of your mate? Also don’t expect to have someone that
is something you are not. If you are selfish don’t expect your mate to not be.
If you don’t communicate well don’t expect communication to be good between
you. If you are not trustworthy then don’t expect him to be. I’m sure you are
catching what I mean. You have to love yourself first in order to receive, or
give love. As stated above, don’t expect your mate to be the center of your
happiness. That is too much pressure for anyone. If you are a miserable person,
there is nothing that poor man can do about that. That is something you have to
deal with prior to pursuing a relationship outside of your relationship with
God. God FIRST, then go for the man. LOL This will make your mate easier to
spot, you can spot the OH NO’S quicker too. Most important continue to trust
God and ask him what he thinks about who you are with, and to show you the real
man you are dating. Ask him to clear your mind past his looks, income, or
materials, or even how he makes you feel. Ask God for the deep stuff that will
matter in the long run. The one thing that I didn’t mention that I would think
would be a given…be sure the man knows God!
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