Renewal

A couple of weeks ago I went to visit my church prior to joining the  church my dad pastors. I like to go there when I have no duties to fulfill at my church....which is rare. It was very hard for me to leave this church because I honestly enjoyed being somewhere for a while where all I had to do was be a member. I tithed and worshiped and grew there like never before. I had no idea the ins and outs of business of the church or who was click-ish or rude because I didn't see any of that. I went got the word and went home. This is when I started to have defined dreams and started believing in prophesying and understanding true anointing. I realized later after God forced me to change membership I had to be there for a period of time to be able to do what I do now and see the vision. So you can see why I sneak off here and there to be reminded and refreshed. This last time we went the Bishop said somethings that really stuck for me about my carnal mind. My carnality is a constant struggle because God shows me so much but my carnal mind at times rules my thoughts and actions. When He shows me something and it doesn't happen right away I instantly see it as a taken back promise because I don't understand the process and I become withdrawn and fall back into what's comfortable and seemingly safe for me because it's what I know. In the sermon Bishop made a statement similar to 'How do you know your struggle isn't there to get you to a breakthrough?' I thought because it doesn't feel good...we are so conditioned in this world to getting what we want fast that at times we don't realize the best things take time. Example...one of my best friends used to make this sun tea...I asked her how she made it because it was so delicious and she told me it seeps in the sun for hours through the day. I decided then that I would never make that tea because I didn't want to seep it for hours in the sun...lol I didn't have the patience for it where she had mastered it and decided the result was worth the time it took for it to sit. To me that has been a powerful lesson in my life...letting my situations be steeped by God so I can have the best result. One more point he brought up was how if we aren't in the word of God consistently that our carnal influence will over take us. TRUTH! I'm sure anyone who is a Christian will agree that they are at their strongest in rebuking the carnal way of doing things when they are prayed up and studied up. I sure am but for some reason I can be doing great with it and one small thing will throw me off and I have to start all over. We all need a constant revival in our spiritual life to keep the carnal man at bay. Just remember God always provides an out from bad decisions whether it's a subtle whisper or a crashing thunder. And just because you fall doesn't mean you have to crawl the rest of your life.

The Process

It's been quite some time since I wrote anything....not because I don't have plenty going on in my head but I just have so much going on in my life all the time by the time I sit down all I want to do is SIT. I need to do better. 😊 Lately I have been doing a lot of thinking about the things I have been praying for in my life and why some prayers seem to get answered with ease while the ones I pray the most seem to be stuck on a back shelf collecting dust. It's a very frustrating thing to think God is ignoring what you believe to be a simple step. But is He really ignoring me? I would say no because He shows me a lot but it's just not the process I chose in the timing I would like...isn't that the case with most of us when it comes to those MEGA prayers in our life? You may pray for a million dollars and see over a million in your lifetime go through your hands but since it wasn't a lump sum you think you never got it. You may pray for a mate and think they will be and look a certain way and the love of your life is the complete opposite of what you imagined. Why do you think that is? I have a theory  of course...we don't know who or what is best for ourselves so God shows us. Here is a great example. When I got divorced I gave myself a 2 year timeline before I got married again. I have to laugh at the thought now...11 years later I'm still very unmarried. ..but I'm so glad I didn't meet that two year goal because I was definitely not healed enough emotionally nor spiritually to be with anyone as their wife. I just was realizing I had low self esteem and how to rebuild it. I grew spiritually in ways I never would have if I had got married again soon. And I really needed more time to heal from my failed marriage and sort out all that happened and my responsibility in it. I needed time to realize what peace was. My list goes on and on and I realize the importance of the time God has taken to reveal me to ME....and show me all those areas I had tucked away behind a strong wall. I'm so glad God ignored my instant request to give Himself time to work on my wounds that I didn't realize I had. Now I won't lie 10 years of not having a long term relationship is a bit much to me and I was just telling my Ma that God is indeed punishing me for all the fun I had when I was young but I have no doubt He is working on my behalf. So I will say this to myself and you all trust God's process because your struggle may be leading to your next break through. He knows far better than we do what we need and even our true hearts desire. I know we like to quote all the time "Ask and you shall receive, knock and the door will be open" but we miss that part about having like minds with God so His will, will match our desires because we are so in tune with Him. Are you in tune to God's will and are you willing to trust His process?