Just Say No

When I was younger I had the hardest time saying no to people. I didn’t realize until I was almost 30 that this was really a problem. Now don’t get me wrong if you were a total stranger or someone I could care less about no was an easy response for me. However, if you were my mate, family member, mate’s family member, friend or even an associate of any kind…..I just felt horrible about saying no. It was really a problem when it came to men because I may want to wait to go to certain levels but never did because I wouldn’t say no. I would run all over town for people when I was sick knowing I should rest. I would pick people up and run them on their errands….and just basically be every ones beck and call chic. I would be worn out but just silently still did all of it. This fear of saying no started young. I was molested as a little girl…then raped as a teenager so….no was an issue period for me with men because I was afraid that if I said no they would just take it anyway…just seemed easier to say yes. Somehow that not saying no spilled over into all areas of my life for a period of time. When I got married I still hadn’t mastered saying no but I believe after maybe a year or so I woke up one day and decided to say no to everyone and everything except my husband. I said no….to rides…pick ups…errands…Sharhonda do you mind’s, Hey what you doings….they all got a big fat NO! At first it felt like I was being mean…but after I said it so much it became addictive. An finally it got to where no one called me for anything unless they had truly exhausted all other options. Even then they were hesitant to call me because they just knew I was going to say NO! The saying no to men didn’t so much come into play until I was divorced. This was not as easy for me but God started to show me that I am so much more than my body had to offer for pleasure. Once I believed that in my head no could just roll off of my tongue without a second thought. I am sure if you asked anyone that has dated me or tried to date me they would be able to say that they never would have guessed that I had a NO problem at all. A lot of the time people are so worried about what others may think of the, or being upset with them they are afraid to say no. As I did, they run themselves raggedy for others or do things that give them no pleasure. There is nothing wrong with saying no to people, or making them figure things out for themselves taking you out of the scenario. What would they do if you were here? They would figure it out. When it came to men….well I say if you really want me…as simple no wont stop you from trying or pursuing me. That just means they have to decide if Im worth getting to know or they can move on. We all have had things that we need to grow from. This is one of those things for me. The next time you don’t want to just say no….it will be ok…and sometimes no is the best thing someone can say to someone.