Altitude over Attitude

Am I the only one who wakes up somedays Altitude overwhelmed? By that I mean tired of taking the high road or being the bigger person that God calls on us to be. One of the hardest things to do is to be nice to people who aren't nice to you or that you honestly don't like. Last week in bible study we were talking about the difference between like and love. We all came to the conclusion that liking everyone is impossible for us all and some even struggled with loving everyone. No matter how much the pastor tried to explain we should dislike the action not the person the more our eyes rolled at the notion. What do you do on days like this? I retreat and save as much Altitude I can for my day to day dealings at work because you cant openly NOT LIKE your coworkers right? Here are some things I do. I am sure to have some one on one time with just me and God. I won't lie and say I get up early every day and read and meditate but I know for a fact when I do my mood and attitude is better. Then I listen to my favorite gospel singers. If Tasha Cobb or Tamela Mann don't move a stubborn attitude and soften the spirit I need to stay home that day. Lastly, I have to remember WHOSE child I am and represent. Those things are what make me speak to someone I would rather not, help someone that I know wouldn't help me or even overlook pettiness as if I don't know it was done. When we read about turning the other cheek this to me is part of what that looks like. Having ALTITUDE over ATTITUDE is the goal we all are shooting for. Do a daily ALTITUDE check before you leave the house daily because you never know when you'll be called to inspire that very person whose "spirit" you don't like. 🤗.

Being Imperfect Apology

Heyyyyy!!!! I am really kicking myself in the butt as I discovered that I had comments and people following me and my lack of knowledge didnt even realize it. I just discovered comments and messages from 2018! Wow! Now I know and letting you know I wasnt ignoring anyone and actually was feeling down that no one ever replies! It really lifted my spirits to see people were replying but made me mad at myself for not seeing the function I set up! If you dont already please follow my page on Facebook and I plan to begin a vlog next year because I love to talk. 🤗 I also believe we lack stuff like this for my age group and people striving daily to live holy before God but realizing we are still just people too. I will do better.

MEMOIRS OF AN IMPERFECT CHRISTIAN: Tis THE Season

MEMOIRS OF AN IMPERFECT CHRISTIAN: Tis THE Season: There is something about the holiday season that brings so much stress for the last few years for sure. It started the year my brother basic...

Tis THE Season

There is something about the holiday season that brings so much stress for the last few years for sure. It started the year my brother basically disassociated himself from the family so everyone was sad, mad or both. It felt like someone close had died although he's still here. (For the record I was just mad) Then every year following someone close died! Most times more than one person. Being in the Pastors family I dont think people realize the things we see, hear, or get called on for. We are expected to be a constant strength even when we are at our weakest moments ourselves. Then add life, in general, on top of that. I have always been a selfless person which sounds like a great thing in writing, and most times is. But being selfless can at times cause me to forget me because everyone else needs me. I have gotten better at taking time for me, oddly enough right now in my life my workplace is where I get the most emotional reset time because while I'm there I am not dealing with anything but work. Off work my brain is back on full "what needs to be done" mode and if there is a crises going on that is double brain energy. The thing I have realized is while all the craziness is going on if I don't have any time to spiritually plug in I am way worse off. Since the end of October I have been so emotionally drained. Now I'm just drained period. The thing is being drained doesnt make anything stop at all. My care about list is still in need of me. My husband still needs me to wife, the kids still need me to momma, the immediate family, which includes my friends, still needs me to Sharhonda and the list goes on. I have gotten to the point now where I feel like any wrong words said to me out the way by people whose behavior is usually ignored are going to get it full throttle no holds barred because I am using every inch of nice I have in my personal life on my care about list. Meanwhile, since I have noticed feeling this way I am going to start back taking some real time with God to get some real direction and understanding before I end up resentful of those things that tug at me. I know I'm not the only one who gets in this mind frame. I know there are many naysayers when it comes to God and in some cases spirituality but in my life experiences the only solution to when I feel like this is God and His divine intervention. The feelings only intensify the more I don't spend time meditating and praying So I am setting a personal goal for myself to take a break from day to day havoc to have a oneness with God before I go completely nuts. I compel you to do the same if any of the things I said in this blog sound familiar. Meanwhile, take care of you during this time and try to not blow up over holiday dinner.

Work Ethic

Some months back I had surgery and a couple of my besties were over keeping me company while my husband napped before his then night shift began. We had been talking for a while just about frivolous things. Then my husband woke up, he asked about lunch, then his coffee...had I saw this or that? This went on for about 30 minutes until it was time to leave and he stopped gave me a kiss goodbye, told me he loves me, would call me and left. One of my friends instantly said "Awwww that's so sweet how he gave you a kiss bye and said he loves you! I want a husband!" I looked with a blank stare and asked her DID YOU MISS THE 30 MINUTES OF CHAOS PRIOR TO THAT!" She had not really noticed that until I re-ran it to her and we all laughed about it! I told that story to give an example of what people see marriage like versus what it really feels like. I often have people that see our pages and public interactions that we share and comment how cute a couple we are and some say how they wish they were married. I absolutely a ree that we are an adorable couple hands down but I am always transparent about the work we are constantly doing on ourselves and our relationship. In society we are taught that love is all we need. I compel you to change your imagery of marriage before jumping that matrimony broom because although love is a must have, it alone is not enough to keep two people joined or not near as many marriages would end. Andre and I do have the advantage of history with one another so he knew I was crazy way beforehand. Not to mention being people who both have been married before we went in eyes wide open. I also sat down and told him every single fault I have. Then I admitted that he will definitely need to have a relationship with God because the only way those things would change would be through prayer because I was okay with my faults. He must have started right away. But he was willing to work through or accept those things. On the flip side I was willing to accept his as well. A made up mind to stay and work and fight through the not so cute times goes further than love. I know at times I am not so easy to love those are the times beyond love kicks in. My husband is my best friend but he also can drive me crazy like no one else can. But God+Love= a made up mind of dedication for me. So the next time you are looking at that cute couple on Facebook or wherever just know that although the cute love is real so is the work to keep it together. What is your work ethic when it comes to commitment?

He is All Knowing

Around 2016 I asked God to take away my dreams and really shut down a lot on my prayer life. To give some background I am fully aware of my spiritual gifts, and one of them is my dreams and God always tends to send me people (women) with like experiences to mine for me to talk to. I have random people that just pour their whole life and heart out to me, and it isn't because I always look approachable. I call these encounters appointments from God. But when I am not focused spiritually all my gifts shut down. So with that being said I was really irritated with my prayers over my personal life. It just seems like years of prayers just floating in the air. I even redirected it and still to no avail, but it seemed I was getting confirming dreams but they never manifested so I asked God to take the dreams and fell off a lot spiritually. Not so much that I didn't pray at all but it was nothing like normal. When I asked for prayers to go it's like it all got wiped away. Well, about a month and a half ago I realized that I am truly in a good headspace. I realized that God was not ignoring my prayers but was actually answering them the way He does, in His time, and beyond what I asked for in various parts of my life. I also see that if He would have answered the way I wanted I would not be the woman I am right now. My husband is an absolute blessing of course to me, but I also see the picture so much clearer for my life. When I came to that realization I said, "Ok God I'm ready, send me my next appointment!" I started back praying more diligently, my husband prays with me and for me and my growth. I haven't EVER had a mate to do that, and I definitely need it. He even prays over my Godly assignments. We have decided to be more diligent in praying over the children because we recognize at their various ages they all have struggles. But I also have started purposely talking to God every day, interceding in prayer beyond my immediate family. I have three people I pray specifically over after I asked them did they have something they want me to pray over, and God sent me my assignment! I forgot how focused and leveled I feel when I purposely seek God. I look forward to continued growth for me and my husband. I wrote this to not say it was ok to shut down but to let anyone know that we all hit rough spots. We all wonder if God is listening to us when we don't get the answers we THINK we should. I am far from a picture of perfection, I still have to purposely seek God and His wisdom, even when I don't feel like it. I am writing this to say God is waiting on you to realize He has your best interest in mind even when there is a delay, and to guide you in to your purpose. Don't give up like I did because even though He may not answer the way you want, His answer will exceed your desires.

The Merge Part II

A month or so ago I wrote part one talking about the challenges we have faced merging with the kids. The second half is merging with the family. The last few weeks I have realized that I am "family sheltered". Meaning I am used to the way my family dynamics are so I assumed for the most part all families function like us. When Andre and I started to officially date again I told my parents, and he started coming over more to get acquainted with our family dynamics and be subjected to the test of intentions. Once my family saw he loves me and I loved him AND it is real they accepted my husband with open arms. This didn't take long, they don't judge his past behaviors. All they care about is who he is now. My husband is a sweetheart, jokester, petty and a grump all in one and we all as a family are fine with him, just like we are with each others good points and flaws. In actuality, it was harder trying to date me than it was to get in good with my immediate family this includes the hard time my Daddy gave him just because he is real protective of his girls although we are grown women. We are definitely Daddy girls. We support and cheer each other on with any positive endeavors we face. We are not perfect and we get on each others nerves but ultimately we all have each others back and no one dare think they will mistreat any of us because we stand strong for each other including my husband, he is now part of that us. I will be honest and say that I knew things would not be the same on my husbands end of things. Call it a gut feeling, a gut feeling that I had to decide whether I was willing to deal with. I as a wife expect to get blamed for ANY AND EVERYTHING when it comes to my husband. If we leave a function early it has to be me. If we don't go, my fault. If he doesn't hang out, MY FAULT. Then add in assumptions that are made in regards to my personality. My husband is incredibly sweet to me and patient. When people aren't around us regularly they get the impression that I run all over him. I am constantly picking at him about this assumption because they obviously do not know him. He like most men CAN NOT be ran. Nonetheless, that is the dialogue and since that is the dialogue I am again the bad guy. Just to confirm of course I am very spoiled, my Daddy wouldn't have it any other way but I also spoil my husband. From the outside looking in my strong personality combined with my spoiledness looks like poor Andre doesn't have any chance, but he has a very functioning way to draw a line in the sand when it comes to me. He doesn't have to beat on his chest or declare his manhood, no real man does, but we work together to make decisions and he is very familiar with saying NO when he doesn't agree. Unfortunately, this isn't something that I think will change much in their thoughts and who I am as a person personality wise may not be their absolute cup of tea but in my delay to write this blog I became okay with that. Don't get me wrong I love my extended family but I also realize just like with my blood family loving people isn't always enough, nor does it change what they want to believe about you. Meanwhile, he and I are just learning to accept people for who they are and when we can dealing with them on that level. I know this isnt a feel good kind of blog because there is no happy resolve as of yet, but it is truly an important one to see if you are married or considering getting married in a similar situation. The biggest help has been us having each others best interest at heart and making unified decisions. We remember that we are each others priority first as God intended us to leave to cleave. Maybe at some point with growth and maybe time we all will honestly grow on each other.