Psalm 103:14

Am I the only one that has ever felt like God is laughing at them? I say all the time that I think I am being punished for all of the "fun" I had as a young person. I only feel that way when I am reminded that I am not exactly where I want to be in so many areas in my life. It is so easy to encourage others and believe for them that things will work out for their good but when it comes to my own life I get beyond irritated and inconsolable. I don't even want to be talked out of feeling how I feel. I had a few days like that this week and I must admit I am just now coming out of it...kinda. I did realize that knowing, understanding God's plan and trusting God's plan are not necessarily things that go hand and hand. For a moment I can admit I did neither. Since I didn't understand(still don't) the plan I didn't trust it. I was wondering if God even cared about my desires and needs. I was so mad and hurt I, for a moment, didn't believe God had my best interest in mind. When some may read this they will think that is the most absurd thing I could ever think let alone say out loud. But I dare to say that at some point we have all felt that kind of disappointment or uncertainty especially when it seems that things seem to not ever come together for you. It could be a relationship that failed, money issues, or feeling that no matter how far you try to get ahead things don't pan out. The thing that I have to remind myself in all of these situations I face is that God is in control of ALL things in my life. I absolutely have no control of God's plan for me but I have to TRUST that it all works for my good even when the process makes me feel like crap. Wednesday when I went to bible study I asked the Pastor does God hold it against us when we feel the process is some bull. He chuckled and guided me to Psalm 103:14 "For He knows our frame, He remembers that we are dust." Thank God for that! Can you imagine the trouble we would be in if God never took into account our mindsets and will. I know I would be in a butt load of trouble for sure. This week reminded me that I am but made of dust and in the end I don't know what is best for me. Someone once said to me "Once you realize you don't know anything and God knows it all your life will be so much easier" Even when I think my plan is the best one for me God's plan will exceed any plan I may have. The next time I am mad about something I thought would go my way and don't understand God's choices I will remind myself that..."I am but dust...."