CHOKE HOLD

I am a person that loves very hard which is good…when its used in the right perspective. I am go getter and most people that know me know that if I set my mind to something I really press towards trying to get it…which can be good….again in the right perspective. Top that off with assertive and stubborn and boom there you go. I admit that I have a tendency to hold tight to my ideals and desires. Recently I blogged about how I made a six month celibacy promise to God because for me to purposely not have sex for ANY amount of time is a challenge but six months to me is like years. I must say I didn't want to do this for a few reason one being the obvious thing…I wanted to do what I wanted to do. I didn't want to be uncomfortable but most of all I didn't want the man I love to be sleeping with anyone else. In all honestly that was the main reason I hadn't kept the promise the first few times I made. I was scared of what he might do. I mean to me it seemed very unfair for me to stop and he possibly go all willy nilly doing whatever and that in no way matched what I wanted. Finally, I decided that keeping my promise was more important than my physical desires or my love interest. That was hard for me because in both cases I was putting my own desires aside to do what I told God I would do. Initially, I didn't have much support from a few of my friends. They didn't seem very optimistic that I could or would do it. I made up my mind FINALLY that in the big scheme of things I absolutely have no control over what anyone else does other than me which launched me to not have concern about what he may or may not do but only on what I plan to do and trusting that God will work the rest out. Five months has past an I have seen so many great things during this five months about myself and my actions that I never would have got if I would not have stopped the things I was doing. I have a clear head and see things in a different way. And I let go of the fears I had and took on a “If God says it, it is so!” Not if Sharhonda says it but God. That was the most amazing thing I could have done and as a result he and I are great friends. We have been able to truly talk. I am not constantly pressuring him or pushing him. Not because my desires changed but because I know no matter what happens it will be in my favor in the end. I said all of this to say sometimes we hold on so tight to those things that we want or desire we choke the life out of it. All we have to do is step back and put God first. So even in this last month home stretch I am in no rush to jump back into things, but just soaking in the fact that God is doing some awesome things right before my eyes. What thing do you have a choke hold on in your life because you fear losing something or don’t want to give up your own desires…let it go and it will start to breathe and flourish right before your eyes.