Woman's Place

One of the things that me and my friends do is sit around and talk about our significant others or the lack of significance in the male species just depending on what is going on with us. With my girls we all are pretty much on the same page but in a room full of women I don’t know as well I tend to get dirty looks and eyes rolled at me when I begin to talk about how women have a role and place when it comes to relationships. It goes so far beyond giving him the business at least once a week and looking cute. Now before I start this blog let me say we are not talking about what the men don’t do today…we will save that for another post day. Let’s talk about us today. J One of the most interesting things I saw on a post I was reading was a man stating that, “Women want a man that handles business, takes care of home, and leads like old school men used to but they do none of the things old school women did.” I absolutely couldn't argue with him on that as much as I wanted to. All I could say was well….so….! I couldn't argue with him because I have sat and listened to SOOO many women tell me that I’m crazy for cooking for my man when there are Burger Kings, McDonalds and Taco Bell stays open all night long. Now,   I am perfectly fine cooking and cleaning, doing this and that because I am even more perfectly fine with HIM changing tires, taking care of the car, taking out the trash and the dangerous task of killing any critter that I think may cause me harm or despair.  I have called my sweetie from his house before to kill a wasp that was terrorizing us and even though he thought it was beyond ridiculous to get off his cozy couch to kill a bug he came!(MY HEROOOOO) I could go into why women are out of roles and why men are not in their roles but that is not what my focus is this time. It’s more about our expectations as women vs what we put out to attract real MEN. We complain if a man wants us to cook but think he is pretty sorry if we can’t call him to change a tire. We expect a whole lot for little to nothing or we exchange way too much for someone who brings nothing at all to the table while the good guy is shaking his head at our stupidity.  Now let me say I am surely no expert in love but I can definitely give input on what I know and have learned these last eight years or so. If you listen great if not…carry on.  I was raised to believe that men were responsible for taking care of the household spiritually, financially, physically and mentally. That doesn't mean he sits and bosses everyone around, or whoops up on everyone in the house or any of that craziness. He makes sure things are in order and safe for his family. Whether we realize that or not that is a great, tiring, high pressured, frustrating, responsibility for a man to handle. In return the woman is the person that spiritually backs him, nurtures the household, mentally reassures, builds up and when needed gives him a push that he can accomplish these things. She doesn't carry him on her back….but she helps him to see clear when things seem all blurred.  She is almost like his cheer leader daily! He can depend on her to be honest and encouraging all in one. He knows her opinion will be honest and what is best for him. She is not a thorn in his side, or a kill joy!  There is a verse in the Bible that says “It’s better for a man to live on a roof top than in a house with a quarreling woman” It’s funny at first glance but so many men, including the one I love, has said no one wants to come home after a long days working hard to an un-peaceful environment with someone that never appreciates anything and has nothing but complaints as soon as he walks in the door. I had to learn this method the hard way I am embarrassed to say. I would get irritated about something with him and think on it all day long and by the time he hit the door I was raring to discuss all he hadn't done and all that I was going to do if he didn't do better. I didn't really care about his day and as time went on I noticed he looked simply miserable when he came home. Then I got mad about that and fussed about that. Then he shut down and guess what…I got even madder at the nerve he had to not want to talk about how stupid he was being. In my defense he always had dinner and a clean house and I looked the best I could when he saw me before I started to complain. J It was much later and lots of frustration on both our parts later that he shared how irritating my timing would be and that he cared about my thoughts but at least let him regroup from being beat up all day at work. He wanted a little tenderness and a smiling face instead he was met with the bride of Chucke as soon as he hit the door.  This is an area I had to work hard at because my mouth is pretty expressive to say the least and my timing is not the best when I have a point to make.  We want a man to treat us like ladies but when we open our mouths we sound like sailors. We want a gentleman but we don’t have the patience to wait for him to do it because we want it done in our own time. We don’t want him to rush us to have sex but when he doesn't we rush him.  I have purposely looked at things I needed to work on and the domestic stuff is easy but those things that create peace I have been working on a lot. I don’t want my Hero to be hiding by the chimney because my head is spinning on the inside of the house. Which of these things do you see that needs work? Maybe you are like me and fight with harsh words bringing him down, or maybe he wants a hot meal and is always getting tacos or burgers from fast food places, or maybe he needs a friend and you have no time and he needs to just man up! We all have areas to work on including me. An these are just a few things that we are supposed to do. If you need a list and you don’t believe me check out Proverbs 31:10-31! When I read that list I realize I have lots of responsibility and accountability to carry to be ready for my King….how about you?