What's Love Got to Do With It

I remember being MUCH younger and my Daddy not being fond of who I was with at the time(this happened a lot when I was young) or my decisions I was making. He was giving me a good talking to about how foolish I was being and examples of how what I was doing made no sense. I was so upset and in tears listening to him suggest that I need to let go and started to reply with "BUT DADDY IM" and he immediately cut me off with "But what???? you're IN LOOOVE WITH HIM???" I said yes and he shook his head and laughed at me with that look all parents have given their children when they know that child has NO CLUE what they are doing or talking about. Then he responded with, "AND WHAT THE HELL DOES LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT...YOU THINK EVERYONE YOU LOVE IS SOMEONE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE WITH?" I thought my Daddy was crazy back then. What in the world was he talking about??? I thought love conquered all like in the movies where people took impossible situations and made it work all because they are IN LOVE!!! But since those many years ago I can say I have seen repeatedly what he meant by that. I now know that sometimes loving someone is simply not enough and if two people get together and can't communicate effectively, be loyal to each other, work hard towards common goals and above all else put God all in their business and relationship, simply loving each other won't be enough. It's a great notion, and it looks beautiful in love stories but without these things it's just not reality. Two people can truly love each other and just not work if one is not where they should be in life spiritually and/or mentally, or just not be willing to make healthy changes that benefit your relationship . I said all of this to say sometimes you have to go beyond your heart and go with simple spirit lead logic. I know from experience it's not easy to do. This is coming from me, a hopeless romantic and I have had to go against my "in love heart" repeatedly since this talk with my Daddy. I am 41 years old and even now facing a situation where I'm pretty sure I will have to go against what the heart wants again. I am still learning and it doesn't hurt any less than it did over 20 years ago. One thing I have to remind myself and you is to not be afraid to move on, and don't keep trying to add pieces from one puzzle to a different one. It just doesn't fit. I have been in so many situations where I really wanted things to work out but now I see clearly why it just wasn't meant to be. I have got a little better but even now in life I have to talk myself out of what I know things could be "If only" and remind myself what THE TRUTH of the situation is. Most times emotion takes over the logical side of my brain still because somewhere inside is that same teen age girl saying "But Daddy I love him". So I totally get it when I hear my friends one day saying they are done with a relationship and the next day still wanting to hang in there to work things out. I am patient in listening to their complaints and whoa's because they have to be patient in hearing mine as well. They, like me, are holding out hope of change or better days towards that happily ever after even though they know that it is very possible that is not going to happen with that person. But we still want to exhaust all avenues before letting it go. This can cause more pain than just accepting what God is showing us to be true. I want to end this blog by saying DON'T LOSE WHO YOU ARE! There is nothing that will break your heart more than waking up one day and realizing you have lost yourself trying to please or make something work with someone that is not in it the same as you are. You will resent the time wasted and although there are lessons learned you won't see that until much later most times. Sometime we have to accept that person is not purposed for us or God needs to work on them more without you in the mist of it all. Either way we have to trust God's answer more than our heart in these situations and it will save us a lot of pain and suffering. Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.