My SELF Esteem is Mine

In our world today we are flooded with so many different images that are labeled as beautiful. It is starting to change little by little but most pictures of beauty we see are of people with what the world labels as a perfect body...or perfect skin...perfect hair. When I was a little girl I was perfectly fine with my skin tone but I always wished for naturally straight hair that curled up when I wet it. 😊Needless to say I had to grow to love my own thick hair that no way curled neatly when I wet it. Then I went through a phase where I wanted a humongous butt with a little wasted...I learned to appreciate my mid size derrière and Im semi working on my waste.😆 As I have grown though I have gotten to a place where I loooove everything about this beautiful design God made called ME! I remember reading once how insulting it has to be to God for me to be complaining about how He made me. The next thing I realized was that not being happy completely with myself caused me to not make the best choices for myself and tolerating things I never would have if I had more SELF esteem. It wasn't an obvious lack of self esteem though...I never thought I was ugly or any but maybe not as cute as I should be. I had to learn how accept compliments without denying it by just saying thank you. I would worry about being judged by who I was dating about my weight...skin...hair...which was ridiculous. I wrote before about how when I got married my ex husband had to literally turn every light on and hide the covers before I'd let him see me nude. That poor man had to do more assuring me of my beauty that first couple of years to the point he banned anyone else to comment on it..lol I guess it was hard enough. Before my grandmother passed she had started calling me Pretty Girl...and every time I would look behind me as if someone else had to be there.  Somewhere in the mist I had to take ownership of healing my SELF esteem that I had realized was seriously broken.How did I do this? I spent a year looking on the mirror telling myself how beautiful I was and that I was beautiful and wonderfully made. I had a whole thing I would say to myself until I  believed it. Next if someone compliments me...I say....THANK YOU...I know it sounds simple..Last but most important I reminded myself constantly that God made me just like this...yes I can work out...do things to my hair...but God purposely made me this way. Taking ownership of my SELF esteem makes me only except what is best for me. If someone approaches me w things they wish I'd change I don't entertain it...No I'm not perming my hair...no I will not ever be a skinny minny...but YES you cant accept me as God designed me to be or keep walking. I wont try to prove how wonderful I am to you because I don't fit your ideal woman. Being me and comfortable with who I am is one of the best things I have grown to do.