Divine Appointment

Anyone that knows me knows that I truly believe in divine appointments. I also realize that most times they happen at times that we are in a rush or when its not the most convenient.  I decided that I would go to the store right quick to get some veggie, and some snacks for the kids during my lunch. I only had an hour so I was in a hurry to get it done and get back. I am walking thru the store and make eye contact with this young lady and smiled and said hello to her. (I am really working on my facial expressions when I greet people)  After we spoke I kept shopping. She came to my isle and made a comment about needing a basket because she was lugging around bottled water. I replied stating how I do that myself sometimes and kind of laughed.  Then she made a comment about not being able to go home because she would miss him too much. I was a bit taken off guard because it seemed to just come out of nowhere. I instantly apologized for her loss and before I could complete my condolences she started to talk.  She told me about his illness, how he died, and how they were planning her birthday which is this week and she was burying him this week.  She explained how he had to know he was leaving because it was like he was rushing her to go to work that day and he passed soon after she left. She talked about how they never had children and how she has loved him since high school. He was very young and his mothers baby. She told me how strong she is trying to be for his mother. As you imagine I really could do very little aside from listen and empathize with her pain and after she was done talking and explaining her situation I asked her could I pray for her and his mother and she accepted. I knew in my heart I couldn’t do anything or say anything that could make her pain get better and all I had was prayer for her.  Here I am running somewhere right quick for my lunch break and end up doing some work for God instead. After I prayed I gave her the biggest hug I could and assured her that I would continue to pray for her strength and peace through this time and I thought about her all the way home.  It never ceases to amaze me how God does things in my life. He will find a way to make me pause for Him and each time initially I think I am being inconvenienced but I gain something from it. I am so grateful for the gift of gab that God has given me. Not only can I talk, people talk to me about ALL manner of things and trust me. This divine appointment today truly blessed me and reminded me to appreciate those I love that much more because someone is missing theirs. It also taught me that we should never dismiss the power of praying for others no matter where we are or who is around don’t put it off for later when they need it at that moment. She said that me praying for her and that hug made her feel so much better and even though I know it wasn’t me at all but God using me it made me feel great to give in that way. Thank you God for choosing me to be a messenger of hope and peace today feel free to use me anytime! Amen.

Living for the Love of Me

It’s amazing how much I have grown over the last year. Now let me first say I am absolutely far from where I should be but I have shed so many insecurities and self doubts. The thing that I absolutely do well is fake it until I make it so most times people wouldn't have a clue of the things that I stress about…unless you are one of the very few people I open up to and even with that very small bunch I limit what I tell them. Its just me and God that know exactly what is going on in this head and heart of mine. The beginning of last year 2013…I was unsure of so many things…financially stressed….friendships stressed…not really loving my body stressed…..maybe I'm not good enough stressed…what am I to do now stressed…am I a good enough mamma stressed…why are you ignoring my desires GOD stressed!!!!  I wasn't resting well because its like my brain NEVER turned off! I was STRESSED! The crazy thing about it is I didn't even really realize how much fretting I was doing. It had become so common for me to function the way I was. I realize now that I was in high gear mentally and just making myself nuts! It took for me to be a true state of peace of mind to realize that I just worrying way too much. Thank God  I am no longer stressed that way. Let me first say this….I do have things that I still have to work through..And all the things above are still factors in my life. So what happened? It’s a simple thing that we all hear all the time….I let God have control in all of it and those things I could fix I started to work on. I committed myself to not doing things the same way no matter how scared I may be to make changes. I was sick of getting the same results because I was too crazy to change how I was doing things.  It was like an amazing epiphany out of nowhere,but in all actuality it was plain old common sense.  Once this mindset kicked in I was resting better and worrying less. The next things  I realized was that I was not loving me nearly enough. I was selling myself short in a lot of areas and it absolutely made no sense at all. Why would I do that to myself???  So I started to focus on more positive things in my life. Instead of wishing for a body like someone else I love the one I have and do what I can to be healthier realizing I have never been a skinny girl nor will I be....an in all honesty I love my curves...I just need them to be healthy curves. Anyone with a problem with that isn't meant for me.  I don’t worry about my love life because in all honesty I was making myself nuts trying to work things out on my own….handed that headache right over to God. God knows my desires... Those broken friendships were necessary and even though it hurt initially I could see on the back end why it had to be. My phone is the quietest it has been in years. No one is calling from morning to night with their problems and issues. I was taking on their anguish...and adding them right into my stress pool. Thank God for releases that chain that I didn't even realize was weighing me down. This whole process last year has made me so much more at ease with seeing what God has in store for me and accepting the choices He has made for me without still yearning for the opposite of His decision. After all I don't know better than Him.  We all have things that we fret about but we have to be careful to not let those things take over our minds and consume us daily. That is no way to live. God has so much for us, all we have to do is believe and trust Him. Each day I do my best to first acknowledge God and then make a commitment to do my best to be positive in my thinking, and do my best with each moment I have. Thank God for a new found peace.