BE A LADY

I was one of many women that flocked to Steve Harvey’s book “Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man”. I am not much of a reader but I read that book in less than 24 hours. It had lots of information that made sense not because it was so profound or new but because for some reason along the way we forget those very clear reasonable standards we should have for ourselves and those obvious signs that we need to bolt and run. I still recommend that book to so many of my friends in the mist of me giving relationship advice. Here lately I have been really taking a look at what BEING a lady looks like and feels like. I am always curious as well how men react to “ladies”.  I am NEVER afraid to admit that I have not always been very “lady like” and it wasn’t that long ago trust me. This last year or two I have really been paying attention to my patterns and decisions I make in regards to men whether it be the man I love or just someone I am considering dating.  I am definitely a STRONGER woman than I was in the past. I didn’t do very well with the waiting part. I was brought up like most girls to believe that once a boy gets “it” they leave….but when I found that to not necessarily to be true…I didn’t think there was any real significance in waiting. I have had some long relationships…even got married and I didn’t enforce a “wait” rule with any of them. However, hindsight is 20/20 because jumping in to the physical quickly makes my judgment cloudy, and truly has my emotions all over the place. I can also say that I have “thought” I was in love quite a bit just to figure out I have only truly been in love three times total.  I am also not afraid to admit this is partially why I have been in the situation I am currently in for eight years. Not to say he isn’t nuts as well…but... If I would have started with the wisdom I have now I don’t think we would be where we are right now….which is nowhere! We are both confused and frustrated.  Ok so what do I do about this….I step back, stop and start where I have fallen…I look at my relationships. I have told people, many times, that as a person that was raped twice and molested for years I felt that was all I had to offer to a man at some point…it was just since my divorce eight years ago that I realized and started to see myself having way more to offer than that. I am kind hearted, loyal, smart, not to mention a strong Christian woman. Of course I still believe I am sexy and beautiful but I am so much more..I am that stuff that doesn’t fade with time but only gets better!!! SUBSTANCE! The hard part is breaking my old patterns and way of doing things also acting and knowing I have more to offer than my goodies.  So I have made a promise to myself and God that I would start with no sex for six months. Before everyone jumps all over that yes I do realize premarital sex is a sin but cut me some slack here…baby steps.  J When I tell my friends this they think I am nuts because it’s no small task for someone that is used to doing what they want when they want and to be honest with who I want. However, I have absolutely tried the other way of doing things and if nothing else I need to hit the reset button mentally. What does that mean? That means that I need to do more of the opposite of what I have been doing. I have to admit to myself I have no clue what is best for me and need to pay attention to God’s voice in regards to relationships. I have found that moving too fast is an awful disadvantage in relationships. One of my favorite verses in the Bible is in Songs of Solomon where it states, “Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.”  That little tiny verse to me translates to BE A LADY!!!  Don’t get your emotions tied up in someone before its time and we all know that physical connections bring about deceit through your emotions.  Yes old patterns are hard to break, and the flesh is weak! But I have never felt so much like a lady than I do RIGHT NOW.  I am starting to hear clearer. Yes I still love who I love but it’s beyond the physical part of it all and I am willing to accept however God works that out as well. Don’t cheat yourself by cheapening yourself…stand your ground and don’t break your own rules. Don’t just act like a lady….Be one.