Mercedes

In my adventure to become single minded and no longer wait for the person I thought I was supposed to be with to agree with me I am having quite an interesting journey to say the least. I learned that although the man mentioned in my first sentence has total issues with verbally committing in words or on paper BUT when it came to all other things such as being responsible, reliable, hard working, honest, drama free and all those things that women want that make me feel safe and sound he really mastered. So that much time dealing with someone like that has changed me from that woman that was used to a man saying he is on his way and taking an hour to actually show up while I stood stranded somewhere, being the only one that has the basic stuff like my own place and car, or still having to call my Daddy for guy stuff like car issues or a mouse in the house to the woman that I am now who is used to someone having their own, him showing up soon as he could if I was somewhere stranded, and when something goes wrong being able to call him and not thinking anymore about it until he calls and says whatever is done or handled, or even calling and saying there is something flying around the house to come kill it.He handled those things without hesitation and seemed proud to do it. Although he did complain a bit about me calling him to kill a wasp on a Saturday morning he was laying on is couch.... lol I usually just smile and say "my hero!!!!" whenever he conquered something that could have ruined my whole day with ease and he felt great to be able to be that for me and I felt all safe and womanly at the same time. Of course we were a team so In return I was there for him however I could be as well and didn't mind when he called and asked what's for dinner or pulling hair bumps or whatever errands he couldn't get to because he was working. I had my girl duties and he had his boy duties. (smile) My Daddy rarely got distress phone calls from me but he would often get calls from him asking what he thinks about stuff he was planning to do for me or the kids, or how he would handle certain He still takes me on the dates so . Prior to this guy my dad took on all of those roles and even Valentines Day and an occasional Daddy-daughter date to remind me how a man should treat his baby girl. (We still do the dates occasionally) But he gladly stepped aside the last 10 years or so to let the man fulfill his role. NOW with this new dating adventure I have going MY LORD I am realizing I am so spoiled and in my search for someone that has all those listed qualities above PLUS not being afraid to commit is proving to be a tedious task. I am finding that men that are all ready financially are not wanting to commit at all and the ones that should be getting themselves together are gungho and rearing to have a wife and woman. Here is the problem with that for ME,I cant speak for other women, but being nice and cute is not enough for me anymore and sex doesn't have near as much staying power as it did when I was younger. I can get that anytime if I wanted an still not be bothered afterward. I have no interest in helping someone "get on their feet".I think they are more fascinated with the idea of me than the effort it takes to maintain the relationship with me. The thought annoys me more than anyone knows, because all I can think of is how much I have to sacrifice in the process of it all. I think I have paid my dues in that area for sure. I have done my share of sharing my car and being the one waiting to get picked up from work or picking people up from work or establishing residence. Those days are long gone and over. Thing is I don't expect right out the door for him to do all those things I am used to but I do want him to come already at least where I am in life as far as being able to take care of himself with or without me which to me means having his own place and mode of transportation AND actively taking care of all those he is responsible for with a legal job or career. People probably are reading this thinking that is not a lot for a start definitely there are men like that. Yeah, well no they are either married, lack interest in commitment, gay or don't have the basics. Lately, I have been thinking about this scenario that one of my Facebook friends posted some years ago that said people often get something because they can, but they don't think about what it takes to maintain that thing. His example scenario was buying cars. He used an analogy of sure you may be able to buy a Mercedes but do you think about how much it costs to maintain that Mercedes like how much will tires cost, oil changes, and if anything breaks on it can you afford to fix it? His point was you may be able to attain something fairly easily with some effort but what will you have to sacrifice to maintain it and can you afford the maintenance to keep it going properly.When I meet these men that are nice yes, they adore me yes, ready to commit yes, but seem to need so much work I think yeah you may be able to charm me and get me to take a chance with stipulations but can you do what it takes to keep me? Can you maintain? I have no interest in going backwards in the caliber of man I date and I am not willing to help with a come up when it comes to what I consider the basics that a 40 plus man OR woman should have. Even when I read in the Bible the man had to prepare for his wife and when he went to the father that man had to offer something for her and if she had maids he had to take responsibility for ALL of them, and anything else like live stock that came with her. He couldn't just show up saying HEY I'M A NICE GUY GIVE ME YOUR DAUGHTER AND I WILL GET WHAT I NEED TO TAKE CARE OF HER AFTER YOU GIVE HER TO ME. That would have never worked and if my Daddy could hand pick who I dated before I ever got a chance to that certainly would not work for him even now. Now don't get me wrong I believe women have their role as well...but that is a whole other blog. So, God definitely is teaching me a lot about myself along the way. Yes at times I yell out in frustration but I also see where I have grown and don't think what I want is impossible or unreasonable. And with all the mistakes I have ever made in my past with relationships I am determined that whomever I end up with will not be a repeat of those mistakes. I still trust that God is in control in all areas of my life and even in this crazy dating scene He can and will work it out to where a man will find me that not just WANTS me but can do what it takes to MAINTAIN a relationship with me. "But if any man does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. " 1 Timothy 5:8